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At the risk of sounding ungrateful, I have a few thoughts regarding this potted-orchid-as-a-thank-you tradition we have in the fashion industry. I only bring it up after taking a stroll through the ELLE halls and seeing desk after desk cluttered with once-regal white orchids in varying states of decay, slowly meeting their demise under the unflattering, and certainly inhospitable climate born of fluorescent lighting and 68-degree closed-circulation air. Don’t get me wrong, orchids are beautiful—I love them. But they’re Daphne-Guinness-level fragile, in need of elaborate care for mere survival. (Were it that they, too, could exist on Guinness’ potent combo of Ensure and Red Bull.) My mom, an orchid lover who owns at least ten, follows a strict spritzing schedule and has to special-order their (expensive) food. Some experts even recommend talking to them to stimulate growth. And before all of that, I’m pretty sure you’re supposed to transfer the orchid from the glass cube in which it’s delivered into a big, comfy terra cotta urn—stuff’s no joke! As we editors watch the blooms wither and fall off, the waxy, wide leaves becoming spotted (stricken with some sort of plant disease, PERHAPS?), it serves as a searing reminder of our irresponsibility—we can’t take care of a goddamn thing, can we? And we’re almost thirty years old!!—and of our own mortality. I’m burdened with these thoughts as I sit at my desk trying to scribble out 150 words about a clutch. But I think have a solution…and fortunately there’s an eco angle. (Magazine editors love an eco story.) Start a community garden with all of the potted orchids that fashion people let die in their offices. You open up this courtyard to underprivileged children and seniors—let them take care of it! Have Zaha Hadid design the park benches and maybe we commission Banksy to paint a few botanical murals. Make it a fashion thing. Or, we get DVF to plant them on the Highline right outside her Meatpacking studio? They may not be indigenous species like the rest of the flora there, but a) they’d be recycled and b) off my desk, which would be a gift to both editors and the earth, right?