I find it’s so easy to discover things that bother us. Whether that be in siblings, friends, parents, teachers, events in our lives, or even yourself, we all know a bout of anger is never fun for any of the parties involved. I myself struggle with anger around all those areas above. The worst thing about anger is the way it so easily brushes off onto the people in the vicinity, until everyone is in a sour mood and it’s just not a happy time. 

How then, do we prevent, or at the very least, minimize this? I’ll start with some possible examples. Perhaps your brother won’t get off the computer, perhaps your teacher made a snarky comment on your hard work, or perhaps you’ve lost a long-anticipated sports game. It seems that every scenario is different and just as precarious to handle as the other, but I can point out one similarity that may improve our future habits. In every situation, you either lose something you want to keep, or you fail to attain something you really want.

For more clarity, I’ll work from my examples; You’re angry with your brother because you want your own time on the computer. recognize this want as the source of your anger as your personal want and not his doing, and then address him calmly, but in a way that makes your desire clear. Also reflect on why you want this so badly. For your teacher, you may feel you’ve lost their prior approval, or that you’ve lost the quality of work you thought you once had and you’re actually angry at yourself. Again, reflect on this source of anger before instinctively jumping into a rage, and you can remain calm and address the situation diplomatically. I’ll let you guys think about the last scenario for yourselves.

I’ve been trying to implement this into my own life, though I’ll admit it’s extremely hard. While I can reflect like this after having time to think, holding back my mean clap-backs and stomping feet are extremely hard in the initial bouts of anger.

I just want to make sure it’s clear there’s nothing wrong with being angry, it’s a perfectly reasonable emotion. However, due to its unpleasant nature, it’s not desired by anyone, and I hope to encourage and aid you minimizing anger to lead the way to a happier community and a more peaceful life.

Take care,

♡ Joanne