Hi Dollies! 

I’m sure we’ve all experienced a situation where feelings have been hurt, or friends have been betrayed, where the overall outcome is sadness and little grumpy grudges. And often the solution that is offered to us, is to forgive and forget, seems simple enough, but in reality, it’s so hard because it requires us to dig out what is offending us and let go of anguish. Definitely not an overnight job.

I want to raise some awareness of this, because often I see and am guilty of doing this: displaying kindness on the outside, but holding a grudge beneath the surface. The problem with this is that although it may improve things from an exterior view, you keep hurting your own heart by trying to push down that pain or anger that hasn’t been resolved. I’ll freely admit, I easily wallow in self-pity, selfishly thinking about my desires and my circumstance. 

Let’s also think about the position of the person seeking forgiveness, if you knew you’d done something wrong, wouldn’t you want to be forgiven quickly and completely? Even though you could show some false happiness, people aren’t oblivious to the grudge. It really pulled me down to earth once, when after a small disagreement with a guy, I believed everything was settled but he approached me and asked ‘Why are you avoiding me?’ I realized, I still held some aversion to him and was subconsciously walking away every time he came near.  

So next time you come to a disagreement, be the better person and take initiative to apologize for any mistakes and offer forgiveness. It definitely takes a lot of bravery to do this, and the other person may continue to fume under the surface, but I guarantee if you do it genuinely, it will leave you feeling freer and happier. So, are you up for it?

Take care,

♡ Joanne