For many of us, the journey into understanding our identity is one often influenced by the media we consume; movies, television, magazines, blogs, and even games. All of these outlets act as junctions into our paths that show us new ways to live and express ourselves, and the once glitzy and inviting Paperdoll Heaven was no exception.

As a young and confused child finding their feet in the cyber universe, I quickly became obsessed with online games of a transformative nature (ones where I could click-and-drag uber-stylish garments onto a two dimensional model were my favorites) and it was inevitable that while recklessly clicking through sidebar ads in an awe-inspired frenzy, I would eventually find myself on a website showcasing an immense list of celebrity names, each one at my stylish disposal. As the years went by, and the site we know as Stardoll began to evolve, I evolved with it. Stardoll acted as a catalyst for the years in which I adapted to my own self, and in turn, my queerness. It was a place where I could be expressive without limits, and tune into whatever creative fantasies I needed to explore. Though, as I grew older and wandered further into the community to whom Stardoll was a sanctuary, too, I realised that this experience was not unique to me. Now, at age 23, I look back and consider just how many outcast kids, who knew they were different, found solace here in the same way that I did. How does our interaction with a virtual world guide us into an exploration of self, assist us in navigating that plane, and ultimately provide us a safe space to practice who we are?

Growing up queer, your only notion about yourself is that you are an “other,” yet in a place like Stardoll, where we’re all just paper dolls, you feel like you finally fit in. “What you wear is how you present yourself to the world” once said the legendary Miuccia Prada, and in the context of virtual fashion, this quote rings true to those who used the StarPlaza to collage an image of themselves that reflected the person they might have had to keep hidden away. In a place void of schoolyard bullies, closed-minded parents, and heteronormative influences, you’re finally free to be anything you want to be. Nailing down a creative outlook early in life is vital to so many queer people, it helps us better channel the confusing emotions and concepts we don’t yet fully grasp in a way that’s productive and mindful - and with so many options at our fingertips, Stardoll was the perfect place to do that.

I’ve always said that Stardoll is a playground; a place where you can play test versions of yourself, reinvent yourself over and over again, holding on to the parts that you grow fond of. Of course, this speaks to so many people in their youth, grappling with an understanding of who they are, but for queer kids especially, it was an opportunity to display themselves without fear of judgement or violence, even if they didn’t really understand the depths of it all. In hindsight, having that safe space was so important, it was somewhere that we could be so honest without being too vulnerable. In conversation with some of my LGBTQI+ friends here, I learned that they used Stardoll in the same ways, often bonding with one another over a common intuition that wasn’t quite understood until years later. Many of us now are on the incline into adulthood, proudly and openly queer, rarely realizing how a virtual dress up game helped guide us to where we are now.

When you think about who you are, what you stand for, and what you’re proud of, you have to think about how you got here. I have met some of the most inspiring and fascinating LGBTQI+ people right here on Stardoll, and I can’t imagine how my life might have turned out without them. As queer people, we flock here to build something we can take out into the real world, and as a result we flourish, already having the blueprint for who we are. Along the way, we see ourselves in each other, knowing that we aren’t alone but recognising how wonderful it is to be one of a kind, to be authentically you, and to be proudly queer. 

EXODUS x